Information for Families
Desiring to Celebrate a Funeral Mass
At Saint Anthony of Padua Church

The death of a loved one is one of the most difficult times in anyone’s life. To add to that difficulty the task of making — in a very short time — all of the necessary arrangements to fulfill the loving duty of giving our deceased family member a beautiful and dignified Christian burial can sometimes be too much. That is why most families turn to funeral directors, who have the resources and experience to lift this burden from the grieving family and carry out the multitude of “little things” that are involved.   

Many times, however, families have particular questions for specific Churches, because they have seen things done in various ways at different Churches. For that reason, I have put together this flier, to anticipate some of the questions you may have.

If you have other questions beyond those answered here, please give me a call at the parish office (508.993.1691) or send me an email (fatherlandry@saintanthonynewbedford .com)

Know of my prayers during this time and the prayers of our whole parish community, especially at daily morning Mass. May the Lord Jesus, who is the Resurrection and the Life, and who died out of love for all of us, mercifully take your loved one to be with Him forever.  — Fr. Roger J. Landry, Pastor

Scheduling a funeral Mass — Funerals are able to be scheduled Monday through Saturday, except on holy days of obligation. As a general rule, funerals will be held at 9:00 am, although, for a serious reason, a later time can be considered. Please know that, on rare occasions, there may be isolated days on which we cannot accommodate a funeral, either because of a scheduling conflict in the Church or if I need to be away and have been unsuccessful finding a priest to be able to cover a funeral in my absence. We will do what we can, though, to try to accommodate your requests.  

The Funeral Liturgy — Like the Sacred Triduum of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil, the traditional Catholic funeral liturgy is comprised of three parts: the vigil (wake) at the funeral home or familial home, the Funeral Mass at Church, and the Committal at the grave. The funeral liturgy ends at the cemetery, which as a general rule occurs immediately following the Mass. For cemeteries that are located a great distance from New Bedford, the funeral director may need to make arrangements with the cemetery to have a local Catholic priest present for the committal.

Family Participation in the Funeral Mass — We encourage the family to pray together over the Sacred Scriptures and, if they wish, make requests to the priest of particular passages for the funeral Mass. The passages most commonly used at Masses for the Dead are found in the Catholic Funeral Rite. Family members are also welcome actively to share in the funeral Mass, such as placing the pall on the casket, proclaiming one of the readings, and bringing up the gifts, but certain restrictions apply. One example of this is that only Catholics may share in the reading of the Scriptures at Mass. Please speak with the priest ahead of time with regard to the details of those whom you would like to participate.

Music — The family may request that certain hymns or sacred music be sung at the funeral Mass. Please convey these requests to the funeral director, who can fax them to our rectory. Please know that St. Anthony of Padua follows the guidelines of the Catholic Church for music at funeral Masses, which require that music must be sacred and prayerful. Secular or recorded music is not permitted.  

Words of Remembrance (or Eulogy) — The Church’s instruction to the priest regarding the homily at a funeral prohibits a eulogy for the deceased by the priest, calling instead for him to focus on the mercy of Christ and His promise of eternal life, and, where possible, to make the connection between the deceased’s life and the faith made present in that life.  There are occasions when a family member or close friend would like to offer a more personal message about the loved one who has died. One person can offer these words after Holy Communion at the funeral Mass. They should not exceed four to five minutes in length. These words must be written out and the text approved by me at least by the night before the funeral. They can be presented to me for review at the wake, or faxed to me (508.999.4775) or emailed to me (fatherlandry@saintanthonynewbedford.com). A eulogy means “a good word” said about the dead, and hence the words of remembrance should focus above all on the good the deceased loved one did over the course of his or her life, as a Christian, as a family member, as a friend and citizen. If there are others who wish to share thoughts or prayers for the deceased, these can take place at the funeral home or at the reception afterward.

Reception of Holy Communion — Because of our Catholic faith in the real presence of the Lord Jesus in Holy Communion, only practicing Catholics who are properly disposed to receive the Lord may present themselves for Holy Communion. The act of the reception of Holy Communion is a sign that one is striving to live full moral communion with Christ and His Mystical Body, which is the Church he founded. Catholics who have not been living according to Christ’s teachings are strongly encouraged to ask for the Sacrament of Reconciliation in the days leading up to the funeral Mass so that they may fully participate in the Mass through the proper reception of Holy Communion. Those Christians not in full Communion with the Catholic Church (and therefore incapable of receiving Holy Communion at the funeral Mass)  are encouraged by the Church to pray with us to God for the gift of Christian Unity, so that one day we may be one Body in Christ, which is symbolized and effected by Holy Communion. Family members are encouraged to make these guidelines known to those coming to the funeral, so that they might know the expectations of the Catholic Church and avoid uncomfortable situations.

Flowers — The family often wants to adorn the Church with flowers symbolic of the Christian hope in the Resurrection. These are normally left as a gift to the parish following the services for use at parish Masses.

Cremation — The Church strongly recommends the pious custom of burying the bodies of our deceased loved ones. This has been the practice of Christians since the beginning, who, in imitation of Christ’s full-body burial awaiting the resurrection, gave witness to a world of the Christian faith in the Resurrection of the Body. The witness of that faith is still important and Catholics should be buried full-body style. However, the Church allows for cremation in the case of necessity (when extraordinary circumstances make the cremation of a body the only feasible choice), provided that it is not chosen as a sign of the denial of Christian teaching and is done in accordance with the Church’s norms for the sacred respect given to the corporeal remains of a human body. In the case of cremation, the Church prefers that the funeral be celebrated in the presence of the human body and then taken for cremation. A priest is required to ensure that the corporeal remains will be treated with the same dignity and respect as a human body. Out of respect for the sacred nature of human remains, the Church mandates that they be buried in a grave, entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium, or buried intact at sea. The intention of disposing of the sacred remains by the un-Christian practice of scattering them on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping them in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased would prevent the possibility of a funeral Mass.

Stipends for the Church and for Church music — The usual offering for a funeral at St. Anthony of Padua Parish is $100, which is normally paid by the funeral home and incorporated into your costs with them. The fee for the organist is $100 and for the cantor $50, which, again, are normally paid by the funeral home and incorporated into the total cost.

Decorative Lights — Occasionally a family asks if it is permitted to have the more than 5000 decorative lights at St. Anthony’s illuminated for their loved one’s funeral Mass. It is possible. The fee for the lights (which goes almost entirely to the electric company) is $300. Families wishing to have the lights on at the funeral should make out a check to St. Anthony of Padua Parish and bring it to the rectory by the day before the funeral.